Why your Why is Important!

What are your reasons for doing what you do? What is your WHY?

These questions can relate to any area of your life and knowing the answers, or at least thinking about what they may be, is a great way to increase your self awareness, your motivation and determination as well as your progress!

It can be really easy to go along with life, doing the same thing everyday because that is what you have been doing and who can be bothered to think of a different way?! You might not even realise there could be a different way. We can get so used to everyday life that making any changes is difficult, stress-inducing, and it may seem unnecessary.

So why bother?

Well, if you can understand your WHY you can understand whether you need to make changes or not.

Why do you do the work you do? I do this because I want to help people to heal from perfectionism and all the behaviours and illnesses associated with perfectionism. I want that because I know how it feels to be anxious, depressed and so ridiculously hard on yourself if something is not quite right, and I was unbelievably chronically sick for over 30 years (since I was 3)!! It was only after I started healing the chronic illnesses that I realised perfectionism was at the root of it all!

So that is my Why (in a nutshell). But where do you go from there? This is where you set goals, where you get to see what you can do to be able to do the work, and give your clients (followers etc.) what they need. You get much more determination and motivation when you really understand why you want to achieve that goal and do the work you do!

Even if being a coach or a healer doesn't apply to you the question remains the same - why do you the work that you do?

Even if you hate your job there is still a reason for doing it, and understanding what that is can help you to accept it, do it to the best of your ability or leave if that is what is best for you. Understanding your Why helps you to see that you always have a choice, even when it feels like you don't!

Your choice to start your own business even when it gets really hard and you are doing all of these jobs and learning how to do things you never even heard of, is still your choice unless you choose otherwise. Your choice to work for that company even if it is long hours and you have to deal with not-so-nice people and it isn't really what you want to do forever, is still your choice! You won't know if you need to choose otherwise until you have a much better awareness of yourself, your goals, your dream life and your Why!

You can apply this to everything outside of work too. Why do you create the things you create? Why do you watch or read that genre? Why do you play those games? Why do you listen to that music or podcast? Why do you follow that person on social media?

All of these questions help you to form a picture of who you are, what you like or dislike, what you believe in, what your interests are, what you find fun. The more you get to know yourself in this way the more you are able to see the amazing person you are.

Accepting all of the parts of you as they are and loving yourself enough to make changes - because when we change for the better we are not doing it out of self loathing we are doing it out of love!

I knew I needed to change in order to heal and I needed to heal in order to make changes - you cannot do one without the other!

Awareness precedes change! Without knowing yourself and really knowing the reasons behind your beliefs, behaviours and symptoms you can't really make changes that stick. You have to start with recognising patterns; Why you behave the way you do? Challenge those limiting beliefs; Why do you believe that, who taught you this? Make intentional choices; Why did you make this choice - understanding this reduces feelings of guilt, shame and judgement therefore increasing your self confidence! Also, the more you know your Why the less value other people's opinion will have.

Self awareness helps you to stop people pleasing and self acceptance helps you to start doing things for yourself.

You can take this further and gain more awareness into your behaviours. Why do feel you need to be perfect? Why do you put more effort and energy into other people's happiness over your own? Why aren't you allowing yourself to rest? Why are you procrastinating on that goal/task? Why do you feel so anxious? Why don't you love yourself?

Really go deep with these questions, try to get to the root of them, try to understand without judgment! Exploring your Self like this is best done in a safe environment and with a safe person, a coach or therapist, that can guide you to the answers and help you to reach those depths. This can be a triggering exercises and it will help you to have someone to do this with or reflect back to. That is what makes these questions, and self awareness in general, so important!

Once you know why you are a perfectionist you can start to unravel that belief: I used to be a perfectionist because I thought it was the only way I could be worthy of love, but that is not true because so many people loved me even when I failed, made a mistake or was imperfect in some way. I wasn't loved because I had an immaculate bedroom or I got straight A's at school. I was praised for them yes, but that is not the same as love!

As you start unravelling and challenging these beliefs you can start to see your innate worth as a human!

I am, therefore I am worthy! Like "I think, therefore I am"!

If you journal on your WHY I would love to hear what your experience with this exercise is and if you need any guidance let me know - comment below, email me or drop me a DM anytime.