What an epic journey!

What a week it's been! Travelling for around 40 hours on 3 different flights! With very heavy luggage! I am exhausted!!

Went to Hong Kong airport for the first layover and that was beautiful! Layover was not too long so I walked around to stretch out my legs and hips, the pain was really bad and I couldn't really sleep on the plane.

Although, on my second flight I had a SkyCouch on Air New Zealand and it was the most comfortable I have ever been on a plane! It was three seats and the foot rest lifted all the way up to create a bed. Got some big fluffy pillows and blankets too. I could lie down - it helps that I am short - and I slept pretty well. Also I could sit cross legged which really helped ease the pain!

I got off that flight with very little pain and I felt very special!!!

I also saw the sunrise from the plane whilst eating breakfast, which was superb!

I have been in Wellington for about 4 days now and still trying to get used to the change in time - it is 13 hours ahead of UK - and I am exhausted in the middle of the day and wide awake at night.

Also, getting used to living with a family! My best friend has two gorgeous little girls who want to show me all their toys and be around me all the time - which is super adorable, but I need peace and quiet sometimes!! They made me a lovely welcome picture and are full of so much love I adore them!

Having been so used to my morning and evening routines the way I like them it is interesting to see how to fit around other people's lives whilst also giving myself what I need.

As a former people pleaser I know I would have reacted very differently and felt bad for taking time out in my room or doing the things I wanted to do. It helps that my friends are super understanding and don't have any expectations of me. They have been very welcoming and I feel ever so loved!!

The adjustment period is important and can't be rushed or "perfected". Going with the flow and giving myself the time I need to rest and acclimatise is the most loving thing I can do right now. There is that voice in my head that says I "should have already made plans and started work and got my morning/evening routine sorted blah blah blah...".

All she needs is reassurance that I am not judging myself (and nor is anyone else) for resting and needing an adjustment period, that by not working right now I am not lazy or bad but it is necessary, and that routine will develop and it is okay to go with the flow.

That voice of fear is my inner child feeling unsure and uncomfortable - understandably!

I mean I flew across the world all by myself - that was pretty badass!

I have drastically changed my environment and it makes sense to feel fearful, in those moments your inner child needs reassurance and love!

Reparenting myself through these changes by listening - to my body, to the internalised perfectionist, to my inner child and to my intuition! When you are highly stressed it is hard to just listen but this is where the medicine and healing are - in those moments when you are vulnerable with yourself and still gentle. This is why making time for meditation/mindfulness, to check in with yourself and inner child healing is key to creating a gentle and loving relationship with yourself. Learning to reparent yourself is basically giving your inner child what she needs, that was perhaps lacking in your childhood, such as, patience and gentleness.

Acknowledging how I am feeling throughout the day is essential! For example, the guilt of living with my friends and eating their food (because I haven't been grocery shopping yet) even though this is not coming from them. I have to be aware of when I am projecting this on to them and remind myself that they aren't annoyed with me, it is coming from internalised beliefs that I am a burden (which is false!).

These internalised beliefs can cause us to believe a false narrative, like we need to be perfect, we aren't good enough. we are a burden. Once you learn to shed these beliefs and be more comfortable telling that voice that this is not your truth anymore, you will start seeing a major shift in how you see and treat yourself. I don't need to be perfect and I am already enough so of course I am not a burden, of course I am wanted here.

This experience is already teaching me a lot, in terms of reparenting techniques, being aware of my boundaries and enforcing them (especially with little children), being able to go with the flow of daily life and allow rest and recuperation to be the priority right now!

Every experience we go through is an opportunity to learn and grow. Being open to change and healing and the discomfort that inevitably comes with it all will revolutionise your life, your health, and the way you look at the world and yourself!

There is no way I would have been able to do this journey and live in New Zealand if I hadn't put in the work to heal and really love and accept myself. Becoming aware of my needs, my boundaries and of how I like to spend my time has helped me to not people please, and be able to meet my own needs instead of relying on others to validate me. Learning how to acknowledge, express and release my feelings has helped me to feel grounded and regulated. Developing radical love and acceptance for myself has made me feel safe and secure no matter what the situation is.

This is why self awareness, self expression and self acceptance are so important! They make you feel seen, heard and safe! They allow you to create your dream life!!

What an epic journey I have been on, so far! It will only get better from here!