Ups and Downs

This last week has had it's ups and downs, and there is nothing wrong with that! Life is full of ups and downs. That's what makes it interesting, variety in experiences help you to learn and keep growing as a person. Especially if you take the time to learn from the experiences (otherwise you'll repeat them until you do!).

How many times have you made the same mistakes, had the same kinds of friends or partners, reacted the same way to something - the less aware you are of how your behaviour and thoughts shape your experiences the more likely it is that you will repeat that experience. For example, how many times have you dated or been friends with a narcissist who pushes your boundaries? How many times have you been able to stand firm in those boundaries and not cave in to people pleasing tendencies?

Each time we are learn how to stand up for ourselves, set boundaries, love ourselves and make our needs a priority we are strengthening these neural pathways, making this behaviour more normal for us. We are learning how to love ourselves and treat ourselves the way we deserve. As internal validation becomes more important than external validation you can start to live more authentically, and even vulnerably.

Being vulnerable is not weak, it is not a bad thing and it, in fact, makes you stronger! I hated being vulnerable, my walls would go up, I would pull myself away and push people away, I felt I needed to protect myself. The belief that vulnerability is weak comes from fear! Fear of opening yourself up to judgement, criticism, emotional pain and rejection.

Of course we don't want to be judged, criticised, rejected and hurt! But if we want to grow, be accepted, be loved, and live authentically then we must be vulnerable and open!

But how can you all of a sudden just break your walls down?

Well, you don't!!

It is not all of a sudden, you don't just decide to be vulnerable and then BOOM you're comfortable being vulnerable!!

It starts with understanding who you are, being aware of the kind of person you are, your likes and dislikes, your kind and empathic nature, even the spiritual side of yourself. Developing self awareness allows you to gain a deeper understanding of who you are authentically and once you understand this you can begin presenting it to the world.

The other great thing about developing self awareness is that you start to bring things in to your conscious awareness, this is what drives change and allows you to improve your life and your health.

How are you supposed to know what to change if you don't take the time to understand yourself and the root causes of your behaviours, beliefs and symptoms?

It is all part of life's ups and downs! If we remain curious and open to learning more about ourselves we can start to make changes to create better experiences and live a better life.

Healing is not about having no downs, positive vibes only or not feeling sad or anxious ever again - that is not healthy!! Real healthy living involves the full scope of emotions, experiences, and lessons!

Healing involves having awareness of who you are and why, what you experienced that gave you those beliefs, how trauma has affected you etc. Then being able to create the safe space for yourself to explore these and release the hold that trauma has on you. To express yourself, and develop emotional regulation techniques that allow you to release the shame, guilt, depression and anxiety that is holding you back. Express who you have figured out you are!! And to love and accept yourself so much that you support yourself through all of the above!!

Through all the ups and downs, knowing that you have your back and love yourself UNconditionally, makes the downs so much easier. Imagine never feeling abandoned or rejected because you don't do it to yourself anymore!

This is what The Self Actualisation Method entails; developing profound self awareness, learning creative self expression, and unconditional radical self acceptance!

The Self Actualisation method helps you to realise your potential and help you to live a fulfilling life - become everything you are capable of becoming!

Through embracing your purpose, creativity, and authentic self you can experience a deeper clarity and inner peace, you can start living your dream life - in fact, you can start dreaming so much BIGGER!! The world is your oyster and when you start to live like you matter your life becomes amazing! (even the small things)

What amazing experiences this all opens up for you!

Maybe you fly off to the other side of the world for a bit too!!

P.S. Here is a picture dump of my visit to an awesome wind turbine in Wellington - the view was incredible! It was so windy, my hair was flying all over the place!!