Something is missing...

Why does this feeling appear? What am I discontent with? Why is there a hole - why am I not whole?

Every now and then I get this feeling that I am missing something, that there is more to do, experience, gain - and yet when I question myself on what the “more” is no answers come to the surface of my mind.

It feels that an old part of me is trying to rear it’s ugly, pushy head and make me feel not good enough, not complete enough, not Tripat enough!

Truthfully, there is some things I want out of life that I don’t have YET and I am OK with that, I am content to wait for the right time, for my manifestations to come to fruition after sufficient watering of my roots!

Still I feel impatient - it could be because I am in New Zealand for 4 months and 3 weeks have already flown by and there is so much to do, so many things to see, so many plans I need to make! It could be because I am not used to living in this flow state and I am trying to get used to it. It could be because of the patriarchal, capitalist society we live in pushing expectations on us like a huge boulder of “responsibility” resting on our shoulders!

So I don’t feel whole, something is missing, there is an emptiness - and still that is OK.

It is good to acknowledge the times when we feel anything other than “positive vibes only”. We are humans, living a human experience and that comes with a whole wheel of feelings - embrace them, feel them and release them!

It is OK to want more out of life. Being grateful for what you have does not mean you don’t want more and wanting more does not mean you aren’t grateful.

So what am I missing? I am missing home, my parrot, my family, my friends, my comforts - but when I was at home I was missing the friends I am staying with, I missed travelling and exploring other countries, I missed the excitement of the “fear zone”!

Are we always going to be missing something - maybe.

Does that make us unfulfilled - definitely not!!