Get out of your Comfort Zone

Solo travelling is hard sometimes, you need to come out of your comfort zone FULLY! You need to put yourself in situations that might be familiar (like catching the bus) but completely brand new in a whole new country. You need to find things to do and put yourself out there!!!

Even though I am living with my friends, I can't (and nor would I want to) spend every minute of the day with them. I love having my own space and spending time by myself. But it is good to find your people. How can you find them - get out of your comfort zone!

If you want to find friends who think the way you do and love the things you love you have to go out there and do those things. Maybe you'll meet some new people, maybe you won't - either way you have done something brave and in alignment with who you are. You have put yourself out there!

In 2022 the Commonwealth games were in Birmingham, UK. I used to go to University there and was excited for the chance to volunteer during the games! It was very exciting, I met many wonderful people; fellow volunteers and athletes and coaches! Most importantly I met one of my best friends there - I set the intention before I started volunteering that I would meet a new friend. On my very last day, there she was! It was friendship at first sight!!

If I let the fear of trying something new take over and stop me from going there I never would have met her. If I let my doubt in being fit for the role win I wouldn't have applied - no I am not a huge sports fan but I love the Commonwealth and Olympic games and I love Birmingham! Funnily, I was based in Warwick but that was a beautiful place and a much shorter drive for me!

Letting fear control you is keeping you from living your dream life!

But what if you don't know what your dream life is, or what things you like or who you are as a person? How can you put yourself out there when you don't know where "there" is?

Well, that's where Profound Self Awareness comes in! If you don't know who you are, what you like and why you feel the way you do, you don't have a great deal of self awareness - and that is okay!

It is difficult to develop self awareness, especially if you are a people pleaser or you have been through trauma in your childhood that has led to you self-abandon in order to keep yourself safe. When you think about others all the time, trying to make them feel good to keep you safe, you don't make space to think about yourself.

As a people pleaser everyone else is so much more important to you than you are and so you do what other people want, you like what they like etc. You are not able to decide for yourself because it is easier for you to pacify others. The lack of safety you feel when you are around people leads to fawning! The fear response when you give everything to everyone else in order to maintain a safe environment for yourself.

You need to make time for yourself -to develop Profound Self Awareness and to create that safety within yourself to allow you to explore what you like, who you are and start to heal from the trauma that keeps you stuck in fear!

Prioritising your needs is underratedly important!

So important I had to make up a new word - underratedly!

You need to matter to yourself, you need to be your own safe space and you need to feel accepted and loved by yourself - you are the person that will be with you always!

If you don't take care of yourself, have your needs met, speak your truth, stand up for yourself and what you believe, explore what you like and who you are as a person then who the fuck else will??

Take responsibility for healing your relationship with yourself, it is on you!!

A great place to start, if you want to develop Profound Self Awareness, is by journaling for a few minutes everyday, this can be morning or evening it doesn't really matter. Just write down whatever pops into your head for about 5 minutes and see what comes up. Is there a recurring theme? What are you feeling? Try this for a week or two as an Exploration of Self! Then you can start journaling using prompts or ask yourself a question - examine your thoughts, feelings and physical sensations!

Creating awareness of all your senses is another great way to develop a connection with yourself. At any time that you feel lost, ungrounded, stressed or anxious take a breath and name three things you can see, hear and smell, what can you taste in your mouth and what do you feel, how does your body and mind feel?

Having a coach or therapist to help you to uncover the truth behind how you're feeling and the things that come up for you during the journaling exercises can propel your healing forward! Being able to dig deep to root of your trauma, work through and heal it will allow you to let the past go and create a new future for yourself.

Figure out what your dream life is, maybe it isn't solo travelling but you will still need to get out of your comfort zone to get there!