Drug Free, Pain Free

I feel free!

Free from medication, free from chronic symptoms, free from all the limiting beliefs that kept me stuck!

For the past 5 months I was dealing with withdrawal symptoms, an increase in pain, fatigue and anxiety. Kept myself to myself, coccooned and comforted! It has been hard, shit and boring! Most of all it was necessary, I needed to take time out to love and care for myself, to give myself the time to rest and recover.

I knew it would end at some point which ultimately kept me going. But I felt so impatient, I just wanted to get back to feeling like myself, having some kind of life, the energy to socialise, work, do my hobbies, do ANYTHING! Every time I tried something would come up to remind me that I wasn't ready; trouble sleeping, hip pain, neck pain, fatigue, overwhelm and anxiety, and then I got covid!

I listened to my body, I told her I heard her and I will rest, I tried to be as patient as I could. The less resistance I showed the easier it was. I learned to lean in to rest all over again, knowing this is not because I am "sick" this is because it is what I need. There is a huge difference in energy and intention, much more love and acceptance when you focus on what you need and not why you need it.

We need rest because we are alive - that's all!

Nothing negative or positive about it, it just is.

A couple of weeks ago I did a bit of gardening with my dad, it was fun! I didn't push myself and I stopped when I was tired. I expected an increase in symptoms the next day and actually I felt pretty good. I rested a lot though because a part of me was still scared of "making myself worse".

Last weekend I cleaned out my office, cleaned the walls, floor, furniture, the whole works. I was so pleased with myself, proud that I was able to do it and that I asked for help immediately. I voiced what I needed and felt no shame, guilt or judgement. I enjoyed the process!!

Again the next day I was expecting a lot of pain and stiffness. However, I felt good and I managed to do some stretching, I went for a walk, I started to get back into work mode, felt excited about sharing my experience with coming off medication and healing fibromyalgia. Ideas are starting to formulate again - coming off medication completely changed my brain chemistry and I felt so sluggish and incoherent at times.

Over this past week I have seen so much of an improvement in my physical and mental health. I feel happy, calm, excited about what's next. I can recognise the positive effects of being drug free; most noticeably my hair and nails are in such good condition now, I am no longer constipated and I have lost that bloated belly (most of the time!)

No wonder I feel free!